Healed or Not

I am not a self proclaimed writer so bear with me, this blog is a way to share my heart more than anything.  I believe until the day we die we will all battle with physical ailments or nuisances in some form or fashion. It is hard to watch babies and children and innocent people hurting, the only reasoning and comfort is that this hurt will not last forever, our time here on earth is brief in comparison to eternity.. we live in a broken, hurting, fallen world and being a part of it only makes the ache for my eternal home that much greater. Though some believe it is because of sin-some sin does bring on sickness-gorge yourself with food and your body will likely respond with high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, etc. There are some like myself who have believed, prayed, and fasted for God's healing. He is the Creator of my body and could restore me to complete health instantly but it has not been His Will to for over 5 years now. I don't believe this is because of anything I neglected to believe or do. I have had countless others praying for and with me! He is withholding complete physical healing from me and Im not sure why but I am sure of one thing- He is good! It hasn't been easy for me to get to that point, I have been through many trials and alot of pain. I have Fibromyalgia (a condition where I am in near constant pain all over my body-it causes insomnia, muscle spasms, anxiety, and debilitating fatigue), I also have migraines at least 15 days/month, TMJ disorder, Myofacial pain, Scoliosis, Arthritis throughout my back and in my neck, Carpal Tunnel in both wrists and an unspecified Autoimmune Disorder.  These are not fatal conditions and I am grateful to be alive. But tell that to my 3 and 5 year old who want me to run and play everyday. These conditions greatly limit my daily activities...BUT God has answered my prayers for healing.. HE has decreased my migraines from everyday to around 15 per month and my pain is growing less to the point I can exercise which helps. The best answer though has been his prescence.  I feel Him and His grace so strongly especially when my pain is at its very worst. I can honestly say that I would not trade complete physcial healing for His sweet presence. He ALWAYS answers our prayers for healing! There is not a formula! Cry out and He will answer- sometimes no, sometimes wait, sometimes yes! Sometimes yes looks different than what we think it will look like. I feel like in my own life the yes has been just an outpouring of his mercy,grace and presence at times.  I will not stop asking the Lord for complete physical healing but I have learned that if it's not His Will to bring me that in this lifetime here on earth I am content with that and even grateful for the fact it causes me to press into Him when I otherwise wouldn't need to, it keeps in the place that is most important- at His feet..